“I can only understand one out of every three words you said.”
- Recent attendee at one of my speeches on social media.

Yes, fear kills social media. And perhaps the biggest creator of fear in this business is the actual terms we use to describe conversational media. Nomenclature presents a significant barrier for many just trying to figure out what all the hub-bub is about.

Recently I bought a T-1 line for my new office. The terminology in buying a commercial grade switch and phones was so bad I had to keep asking the service provider to explain to me what the equipment was in English. And I sued to work in telecom five years ago. Wow!

It reminded me of the horrific barrier to entry that we, the social media community, create. Consider these words:

and on and on. If you are a normal person, this will read like Chinese:

There is a real need for Mike Sansone’s glossary of social media terms. Is it any wonder those not indoctrinated look at social media and want to run away? Is this what we really intended when we were coming up with all of our cool words?

My final thought as we the social media community develop the next BrightKite: Are we really creating something new and special for society? Or is it by its very nomenclature exclusive and antisocial. Maybe that can reverberate in the echo chamber for a little while.

Per my good-bye post on Friday, this will be my last appearance on Now Is Gone. You can continue to read my marketing posts on the Buzz Bin.

Monday’s post will be my final one on Now Is Gone. It’s time.

There are only so many basic lessons and primers you can give. I have nothing more to say to the newly engaged social media communicator. Repeating or rehashing old posts seems like a bad idea. The primer has been laid thick, and now it is time to paint.

My motivation is somewhat selfish, too. For the past year plus I have worked tirelessly on this project giving, giving, and giving more. Consider speaking for free on numerous occasions, writing an entire book, authoring 150 Now Is Gone posts, and providing free content in other places. It has been service oriented work and has benefited my business with numerous intangibles, but at the same time, it has been draining, and has affected my personal life and well-being.

I don’t want to be one of these guys. Dying ain’t worth it. I’m taking some of these hours back.

Along the way numerous people have helped me. Ike Pigott and Lauren Vargas have been my comrades in arms on this blog. Like me they have donated their time and insights to help businesses embrace social media. Like me their motivation was service orientated. While Monday will be my last post, I leave it to them to write the postscripts. Thank you, Ike and Lauren. After it’s all said and done, I feel much closer to you as a result of our team effort. You are great friends.

Brian Solis helped shape and edit the book, and he wrote a great intro. And of course there were all the fabulous people who served as sources. Thanks to all of you.

I hope it has been and will continue to be valuable. The blog will remain as a resource, the book is still available. I will continue to offer social media and communications insights on the Buzz Bin. And if you are a real glutton, you can follow me on my personal blog. But for me — on Monday — Now Will Be Gone.

Thank you.

To dovetail Geoff’s latest post and to prevent anyone from making themselves appear like the animal represented in the post’s picture, it is essential to define listening.  As a university professor, I incorporate the basic skill of active listening into all of my class curriculum. Most students new to my class do not know how to actively listen.

To apply the mind, or pay attention, with a view to perceive, understand, or comply; to pay regard; to heed.

versus to hear…

To perceive (sound) by the ear.

Too often we choose to selectively listen. To succeed in a social media environment, such half measures will doom any presence. Relationships require devoted attention. Rather than focusing on our own messages, we must relearn how to listen to others. 

• Prove your understanding by asking for clarification.
• Focus on the speaker; take notes.
• Resist distractions.
• Be respectful.
• Acknowledge speaker.
• Paraphrase.
• Ask open-ended questions.

Golden Rule: "Listen unto others as you would have others listen to you."

Several keynotes and presentations at least week’s SNCR NewComm Forum, including more than four case study presenters, highlighted the importance of listening as a fundamental pre-cursor to social media success. Of course, listening makes sense because it allows you to understand your business community’s preferences and needs (image by sel). In many ways, this represents market research.

Many businesses are not used to listening. In a mass communications world, they’ve done most of the talking.

Yet new media presents a different set of rules. In social worlds, two-way communication is inherent allowing stakeholders to have equal footing with businesses and organizations. Failure to listen creates situations where stakeholders either act with anger, or simply turn deaf ears on the company.

Listening is not hard. It simply requires a biological sense of proportions: We all have two ears and one mouth. Something to consider.

Shel Israel took time at SNCR to discuss this important aspect of social media, including Dell’s example. Here is what he had to say:

Photo in movie was taken by Chris Heuer at SxSW

It is tempting to slip into the social media world and become googly-eyed. You know, the rush of excitement to see your name as author of content or your company being discussed online or receiving your first blog comments. In the midst of stressing over a social media event, my friend so wisely reminded me, "It’s not about you." So true. It is about your community. All aspects of your community dictate the ebb and flow of the social media strategy, conversation and technology platform. Keeping an eye on the bigger picture will affirm your relevance in the future.

Last month, I ranted about how Social Media is not a commodity — not an easy bundle of off-the-shelf “solutions.”

Well, our friend David Armano over at Logic+Emotion has the same idea, and provides us with this picture that replaces my thousand words. Enjoy:

Last week I had the great pleasure of serving as a guest lecturer for two University of Maryland Communications classes. The students all brought questions, which we did not get a chance to answer. But in the spirit of continuing the conversation, here are some answers. I did not answer all of them, but may do a second round next week.

Q: How do you know if a blog is credible?

A: All things are subjective, but my preferred way is to delve into the links-to a blog, and see who is linking back and how. A blog that inspires a lot of negative conversations probably should not be considered credible. Another way is to use a formulaic tool like the Ad Age Power 150 or AideRSS to measure a blog’s standing.

A word of caution: Just because a blog does not get links-to does not mean the content lacks weight. The author may not blog often, or does not actively promote or cross-link.

Q: What is the most useful new media tool and what should we know about it?

A: FriendFeed has the hot hand right now. FriendFeed captures a latent demand for providing multiple pieces of content in one place, similar to a reader, but capturing headlines rather than full articles.It really allows individuals and small businesses to aggregate their content in a social way. Consider that integrated into Facebook it provides a viral way to show a diverse contact base several initiatives.

Further, it allows content creators to better serve their constituents in one place. For example, a guy like me blogs here to support a book, my company blog, and my personal blog as well as bookmarks, photos and videos. You can follow me on FriendFeed here.

Keep in mind that bigger businesses are doing this with portals, such as GM’s Next, Cisco’s page or Dell. But none of these entities benefit from the viral commenting and spread that FriendFeed offers.

Q: How do you choose what to blog? Do you accept pitches?

A: I use an editorial mission for my two business blogs. Now Is Gone and The Buzz Bin are meant to serve specific stakeholders, buyers of my book or the communications industry, respectively (including clients, employees, and partners and potential members of any of these stakeholder groups). Creative whim dictates content on my personal Off Hours blog.

I do accept pitches for the Buzz Bin, but very rarely. Usually, the pitches are way off and deal with a company’s specific marketing intent. If I do accept a pitch, I usually make the pitcher by-line the post.

Q: Do you recommend starting your own public relations company after accumulating enough experience? Was it difficult to get started?

A: If you are an entrepreneur, yes. But this is not for the faint of heart. Think five times before doing this. If you are not sure, Escape from Cubicle Nation would be a good resource to peruse.

You have to know how to sell. No matter how smart you are, no business succeeds without sales. You have to be ready for the long haul. You have to be ready for major trials, and be OK with the possibility of failing. I am celebrating my company’s second birthday this week, and looking back it has been absolutely grueling. Hobbies go out the window, relationships dissolve, and marriage can be strained.

If I knew then… I may not have started an agency, instead just focused on being an uber-consultant. Or, I may not have started at all. Now that I am two years in and have a team of five full-time (once we get our next person on…) + consultants, the rewards are starting to appear. I love watching people grow, the new challenges expansion is bringing, and of course, living with almost complete freedom.

Q: How do you make a corporate blog seem authentic without completely giving up control?

A: You can’t. Control is an illusion. For the most part, companies never really had it anyway.

Q: How do you balance the strict guidelines of the AP Stylebook and the informal culture of a blog?

A: Hah! Throw out the AP stylebook, of course! Great writers write to the medium. So a press release or corporate backgrounder is much different than a blog, and should be written in a completely different fashion. Corporate blogging and social media in general are conversational, demanding personality. AP Style takes that edge off. Institutions that enforce AP style on a blog better have fantastic content if they want to engage people.

That being said, editing a post a couple of times for basic grammar and spelling is usually appreciated by readers. Check out Copyblogger, too.

Q: I currently intern for the Washington Capitals and our public relations department openly welcomes bloggers to sit in the press box during the game. What are your feelings? Do you think what bloggers have to say is equally important as what a local newspaper writes?

A: The Washington Post seems to think so. So do I. Why? Because there’s a symbiotic relationship between reporters and bloggers, with many newspapers using blogs — or more importantly story trends across blogs — as a means of story research. To ignore bloggers or prevent them from executing stories like Mark Cuban wants to is foolish. It’s kind of like cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Ted Leonsis, owner of the Washington Capitals, is a long-time Internet veteran. He gets it, and is actively trying to get AOL into this next generation of Internet technologies. It doesn’t surprise me that he allows bloggers. Heck, he even accepted my friendship request on Facebook.

Q: What disadvantages do you think our generation has or will struggle with once we get into the work force?

A: Ahh, millenials Most of my workforce is in your generation. Generally speaking, your generation is accustomed to immediacy, co-creating and crowd-sourcing. That means you expect to be a part of the larger picture, you want things now. You are disappointed when you are not included in all aspects of what your curiosity dictates should be an open conversation. This can lead to a sense of entitlement. I think the current economic environment may rectify this.

"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers

The words authenticity and transparency are not just buzz words, but key traits of any successful social media strategy. It is important to stress that nothing is off the record. What occurs externally of the Internet will become part of the Internet chatter and vice versa. You nor your company can lead a double life. It is important to take off the masks. A company cannot simply present a stage character via Internet and expect perceptions to change overnight. Each and every action is being documented. In this age, people are using mobile video and text to record and distribute content at an alarming speed. You and your company must truly live your promises in all your actions. Your "parrot" is your associates/customers and the world’s social networks is the audience.

(In an effort to provide a place for the Social Media Curious to dip their first toe, Ike continues a series of articles aimed at those who are looking for very basic context.)

You’re Listening. NOW What?

At the most basic level, your participation in Social Media needs to include monitoring and listening. If you don’t know what’s being said about you, you’ll never have a chance to correct misperceptions or outright lies. Being functionally deaf makes you blind in targeting future efforts.

For those organizations that fail to even listen, the top hesitation is the fear of finding “bad news,” and not knowing how to deal with it. Given the flood of information that you might find about yourself, it’s easier to play the ostrich and pretend it doesn’t exist. While that might make you sleep a little easier, your shareholders and stakeholders might see things differently. So how exactly do you prioritize these potential “reputation threats” as they circulate?

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, you use monitoring tools to find a knock against your company in a blog or public forum. Aside from simple traffic statistics and site popularity, here are a few measures of “viral-ness” you can use to determine which ones are capable of becoming a big problem down the road.

Viral Triggers, A through G

1. Authority/assertion
   The message must give you the feeling that you now know something important that will truly affect future decisions.
2. Brevity
   No one wants to read a manifesto, Dr. Kaczynski. If the negative message is too long, the average reader won’t want to be the one to foist it upon his whole network.
3. Clarity
   A well-crafted message, to go viral, must be unambiguous. There can be no question about where the author stands.
4. Detail
   The position must be rooted in incontrovertible fact. A random message that “Dell sucks” doesn’t carry the weight of “Having used your product for 9 years…”.
5. Emotion
   How well-written is the message? Does it make you feel as though you could be just as passionate for simply passing it along?
6. Focus
   The message must be about one thing, and one thing only. If it makes a reader mentally wander he’ll be less likely to feel compelled to pass it along.
7. Gossip
   One reason people like to pass on juicy little tidbits is the rush of knowing that you knew something before (almost) any of your friends did. This places you in a position of esteem and authority within your circle.

A quick glance can usually knock a couple of these factors out for a particular instance, and you can move on. If you see a message that hits six out of seven flags, you may want to do an internet search for an unusual string within the message, to see if this is already moving and where.

If you see one that hits all seven warning triggers, you probably need to put it in the hands of whomever would handle your reactive messaging. A direct response might be in order, unless it comes off looking like an attack. But you need to be prepared for the likelihood that many people will see this attack on your brand and reputation.

As with all things in Social Media, your mileage will always vary. This tool is not scientific — but will empower you to concentrate your time on the messages that matter. It beats getting caught in the paralysis of analysis, or wasting resources on issues that will never materialize as real reputational threats.

(Ike Pigott regularly writes at Occam’s RazR)

Does your company have core values? A mission statement?If so it likely has a corporate ethos, a statement of ethics and integrity that the company believes in. Hopefully, the statement isn’t  propaganda, instead reflecting the living culture of the entity. If it’s real, your company may already have an advantage.Companies struggle with personality and tone when going out to communicate in social worlds. At the heart of the issue is getting away from propaganda and spin, and embracing the necessary authenticity of social communications. But you don’t have to look far. Consider Nuts About Southwest (recent flack on flight groundings aside). One of the things during our interview for Now Is Gone that became apparent was the blog’s tone exuded the corporate culture.  Not only the fun, but the way the company reacted to comments and other issues.When a company or social media effort exudes an ethos it attracts that same type of person back. In theory, cultures are developed around customer bases or a defining principle that caused the birth of the entity. So by communicating that clearly, a company attracts the type of potential customers and followers it wants. This can swing both ways, too (image by soldiersmediacenter).Consider the recent popularity of 1938 Media’s videos at Shel Israel’s expense (note: Shel is a friend).  This hard hitting “humor” has in many people’s minds crossed the line into personal attacks. At the same time, 1938’s generating business from this. But what kind of business is it?  If it is dollars you want, dollars you get.  But perhaps a deeper evaluation of the larger brand impact is needed. Gossip attracts gossipers… What does attack-style mockery do? Is this really a long-term play for Loren Feldman?It’s important to note that in both of these cases the actual actions determined the entity’s ethos. You can’t just say you have a certain set of values. Actions in social media unintentionally reveal ethos and values.Social media is really no different than real life. It’s just a different scene with a new ambience. But corporate actions demonstrate true values. So when you consider what you want to do in social media, think about who you are first.